Tag: life
group name: liquidfish
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August 07, 2006 09:51 PM EDT --
The first time I met Ulak he stood in line at a coffee shop along the Pacific Coast Highway. I stood behind him, stared at the tufts of black and gray hair sticking out from the back of his neck. My God, . . .
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January 04, 2007 10:14 AM EST --
Gather has announced new ways to gather points. Gather members will receive points for:
Paying attention to their children. (Triple points.)
Paying attention to their spouses, partners, adults family members. . . .
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June 19, 2006 03:47 AM EDT --
1. Tribal: Amazingly trendy, shows a complete lack of personality and/or orginal thought. It's more or less the same thing as saying "I wanted to have a tattoo, but I am really uncreative". . . .
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July 14, 2006 11:45 PM EDT --
Oscar and I are about as tight as two occasional companions can be. When we get together every couple of months, it's like no time has passed. Without wasting energy on feeble explanations . . .
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January 21, 2009 06:41 PM EST --
An article I just wrote for Helium. The article's subject was Sibling Rivalry/Humor.
I had an ideal childhood. I grew up an only child, spoiled, getting . . .
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March 07, 2008 10:49 AM EST --
(NOTE: Although some of the names and locations have been changed to protect the innocent, the following events occurred exactly as they are described. Trust me.)
It began when I got . . .
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October 30, 2007 11:07 PM EDT --
by Kimberly Ripley
"And one and two and three and four, and march and two and three and four..."
The Losing and Lively aerobics class was in full swing. Funky 80's . . .
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August 01, 2006 07:15 PM EDT --
A month ago a man called me. I need foot cream, he said. Lots of it. Different kinds, too. Can you bring some samples? A lot of samples! I need around a hundred.
"A hundred samples of foot cream? . . .
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August 09, 2006 10:07 AM EDT --
One of my customers ordered the new Avon Thinner Digital Precision Body Fat and Hydration Scale. Aimee lives alone, in a second-story brown stucco condo facing the west lagoon. I spent an hour with her . . .
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August 09, 2006 01:46 PM EDT --
I was up to seventy-three before I lost count. A lone woman standing in the feminine hygiene aisle looking for the same kind of -What do they call it?- protection- that I bought . . .
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August 04, 2006 08:05 AM EDT --
I had serious Avon Apathy this late summer. Sure, I knocked on doors, left satin smooth brochures and samples of beauty promise on beach cottage porches, under doormats, stuffed behind screen doors, balanced . . .
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July 01, 2006 02:27 AM EDT --
Moths! Moths!
Those hairy Saturniid beasts!
How many of you does it take to change a light bulb?
The yellow bug light flickers and my dusty soul takes flight.
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August 05, 2006 06:19 PM EDT --
My only advice for Mel is to flog himself. Rigorous self-mortification of the flesh, like self-flagellation, will bring him closer to the pain of Christ and lead him to purification and final deliverance. . . .
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August 10, 2006 10:16 PM EDT --
Interesting thought.....
I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, start out dead and get it out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home, feeling better every day.. You . . .
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August 17, 2006 06:28 PM EDT --
I did not write this but thought it was pretty good.
1. NAMES:
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, . . .
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August 20, 2006 12:00 PM EDT --
This came from another site.
Charliemo's Pick up lines
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Charliemo: Where have you been all my . . .
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August 03, 2006 10:46 PM EDT --
Two nights ago I gathered up a handful of the latest Avon brochures, fifty of the new Avon Men's Catalogues, a bag of men's Ab Cream samples, and my demo bottle of the brand new Today fragrance . . .
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May 29, 2006 10:50 PM EDT --
I sat in the stiff waiting room chair, dreading the moment that the perky woman would come to the door and call my name.
The valium they'd given me to 'calm my nerves' was doing nothing. . . .
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June 30, 2006 11:58 PM EDT --
Only one,
but the experience of changing it
will profoundly affect them.
At once they will feel both
abandoned and impassioned
for said bulb.
This light...the bulb
will entice them
. . .
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August 14, 2006 11:50 AM EDT --
In exactly 1 week and 3 days, my youngest children, The Twins, will be heading to Kindergarten. They will be leaving me and joining their older brothers on the long haul in the big yellow bus. I hear . . .
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Humor
Created: May 28, 2006
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